You made me cry and you don't even care
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize