he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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