His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
