I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
