Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
