i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
