Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize