like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
