It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
