Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
