apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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