Christians are straight up FREAKS
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
