Pregnant stripper...not hot.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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