singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
