fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
