I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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