I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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