There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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