I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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