oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
