she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
