Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to make out with him forever
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
