Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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