is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize