Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
