Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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