Will you blow on my dice?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
