Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
