Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
