I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
