You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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