Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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