Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
