Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
