as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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