Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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