I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
