My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
