Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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