"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
