i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
