I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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