the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this just has baby written all over it
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
