Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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