1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
