my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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