The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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