well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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