I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
