before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
