i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I want a musical about memes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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