i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
