Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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