What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
