im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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