You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
