If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize