naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
